What’s New in Vaccine World?

Oh my goodness gracious, I am writing a blog post.

I’m not gonna lie, losing my blog a year ago really took the wind out of my sails. It was a great 5 year run. Y’all were all such an awesome support as I said goodbye to 1.7 million friends. I truly was heartbroken. But then, I no longer dealt with hate mail and death threats. And I kinda felt like I got privacy back for my family and me. I went from receiving thousands of questions and comments on a regular basis…to none. And that kinda felt like getting a part of my life back. But I’ve missed the fight.

Through the past year, my friend Kim Spencer, co-founder of The Thinking Moms Revolution, has periodically checked in with phone calls, ever-so-gently asking me where the heck I’ve gone. “Hey Jess, where’d ya go? Remember us over here in vaccine advocacy world? Yeah we are still here. Still fighting for our kids. Still fighting for truth. Remember you used to blog on a regular basis? Ever doing that again?” Ha! So between Kim & the CDC adding new vaccines to the childhood schedule on February 1st, 2016, my righteous anger was awakened.

Lioness Arising don’t mess.

So Kim, this ones for you… And TMR, you know I love y’all and miss you like crazy.

So What’s New in Vaccine World? Well…new vaccines of course!

The new 2016 recommended immunization schedule for children and adolescents was released. It includes two new licensed meningococcal B vaccines and the 9-valent human papillomavirus vaccine, for girls as young as age 9 now.

-In the 2016 chart, a new row has been added for the meningococcal B vaccine. A whole new row. We definitely needed another row. This clearly was not enough.

Screen Shot 2016-02-03 at 2.07.51 PM

-For human papillomavirus immunization, the new vaccine nomenclature has been changed to “9vHPV,” to denote Merck’s Gardasil 9, to replace the prior 4-valent version. There are over 100 strains of HPV. This new vaccines now targets 9 strains, instead of 4. Awesome progression towards…nothing. Still not effective. Or safe. Remember this vaccine was fast tracked to market and never underwent proper safety studies? Another new recommendation on the CDC schedule is you can now give it to your 9 year old little girl. Paralysis, degenerative muscle disease, unknown chronic pain, infertility, thyroid disasters, destroying of ovaries, & death. Thanks, CDC. Every little 9 year old girl thanks you. Not.

When does this growing vaccine schedule end?

2016 CDC schedule

In 1950, there were 3 childhood vaccines. Look at the schedule now. We are up to 74 doses of 53 injected vaccines, with 3 oral vaccines. The most AGGRESSIVE schedule in the world. Remember, we are told that vaccines were created to “save lives” and “protect the herd”. When were children dying in the masses for all of these new diseases vaccines are given for? Rotavirus, a vaccine for diarrhea? PCV, a vaccine for ear infections? This is not normal. These illnesses were not deadly and should have never been chronic enough in the first place to be considered a “vaccine preventable disease”. Let’s just be honest here… these new vaccines are for vaccine-induced illnesses. A 2 month old baby with chronic diarrhea and constant ear infections? Hello culprit; vaccines. There are currently 271 new vaccines in the pipeline. Many just waiting for a name. Nice to meet you Zika virus. Where did Ebola go?

Ya’ll we are up to 3 doses of Hep B. Starting at 1 second old. Given to babies on their first day of life. For a disease that is transmitted through sex and sharing needles. A newborn child has no risk of this disease if the mother was properly screened. We are up to 3 doses now.

We are up to 5 doses of DTaP. That accelular version of Pertussis continues to show itself completely ineffective. What’s the answer? Add another dose. Meanwhile, whooping cough outbreaks continue within vaccinated populations.

Look closely at the current vaccine schedule and ask yourself why have we gone from 3 vaccines in 1950, to 70 doses in 2016?

Considering there is ZERO incentive to make existing or new vaccines safe or keep the schedule at a reasonable level since the passage of the 1986 Vaccine Injury Act. See in 1986 Congress acknowledged that vaccine injuries and deaths are real and that the vaccine injured and their families should be financially supported and that vaccine safety protections were needed in the mass vaccination system. So the National Childhood Vaccine Injury Act of 1986 was born.

The law preserves the right for vaccine injured persons to bring a lawsuit in the court system if federal compensation is denied or is not sufficient. By 2010, the U.S. Court of Claims had awarded nearly $3 BILLION dollars to vaccine victims for their catastrophic vaccine injuries, although two out of three applicants have been denied compensation, and less than 10% of vaccine reactions are actually ever reported to VAERS (Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System).VAERS is jointly operated by the federal Food and Drug Administration (FDA) and Centers for Disease Control (CDC).

So if our federal government is aware of vaccine risks and reactions and injuries and deaths, you should be to.

Especially since the current vaccine schedule has NEVER been tested.

And no independent oversight agency exists to make sure that people sitting on the board of vaccine recommendations, don’t actually profit from the policy they or their friends on the board  recommend.

Sick is the New Healthy

One of the most profound books I’ve read on this topic, “Vaccine Epidemic”, features more than twenty-five experts from the fields of ethics, law, science, medicine, business, and history. Vaccine Epidemic urgently calls for reform. Chapter 12 in this book, titled “PEDIATRICS: SICK IS THE NEW HEALTHY” should be a must read for every parent.

“It is not difficult to see that American health policy has failed. For the first time in U.S. history, children’s life expectancies may be shorter than their parents.
Despite the rapidly growing vaccination schedule, American children are more chronically ill and disabled than ever”.

“Incredibly, it is now the norm to turn the pharmaceutical spigot on children, starting at birth-and nobody blinks. In the same time frame in which giving babies and children dozens of drugs and vaccines became normal, our children have gotten sicker, not healthier. It cannot be claimed that this style of healthcare works”.

We have an infant mortality ranking that has done nothing but slide from bad to worse since 1950.

U.S. Infant Mortality Rankings:
Year: 1950 Infant Mortality Rate: 3rd
Year: 1986 Infant Mortality Rate: 17th
Year 1995  Infant Mortality Rate: 23rd
Year 2000  Infant Mortality Rate: 31st
Year 2010  Infant Mortality Rate: 46th
Year 2015 Infant Mortality Rate: 55th


These statistics are staggering. 

“Children in the United States today have much higher rates of asthma, autism, diabetes, Crohn’s disease, epilepsy, life-threatening food allergies, obesity, ADHD, learning and behavioral disorders, and suicide than kids did in the 1980’s, when fewer vaccines were given” -Vaccine Epidemic

What if it were true that the way we now vaccinate children causes more death, chronic disease, and disability than it prevents in America?

A Full Circle Moment in Bloggy World!

I can definitely say that this past weekend was a full circle moment for my blog. When I first started writing this blog, I hoped that my closest and friends and family would read it. That was as far as my expectations went. I thought…well if I can just get my closest friends to read my vaccine research, then hopefully I can help them with their decision. I honestly had no idea this blog would one day be read by millions of people, that I would form relationships and friendships with many of my readers all over the world, and that would day I would travel to meet them. Wow!

First let me say….YOU GUYS ROCK!!! I absolutely adore my bloggy friends that read this blog and the community of friendships that have been formed. You guys are the reason why I will never quit writing (even when I want to, which is often). You confirm, validate, and encourage me to keep going.

This past weekend I was able to travel with my friend Danielle to teach oil classes. We traveled to and through 7 different states. I knew I was going to be teaching classes for members in my downline that signed up for YL through my blog, but I wanted I didn’t realize was the amazing testimonies and stories and friendships that would come from it. And that the people who I often refer to as “blog readers” are real life, awesome, amazing people that I get to hug and cry with and talk to and get to know as friends! How cool is that?

Meeting my blog readers face to face and hearing their stories of how this blog has changed their way of thinking, their vaccine decisions, their health choices, and hearing their stories testimonies was simply amazing. It was a full circle moment for sure. This blog talks about many things: family life, adoption, health, vaccines, and oils to name a few. Never did I think that oils would allow me to meet the people who this blog has touched face to face. Many of whom have been touched by my vaccine posts. Wow!!!

Many of the mothers I meet are mothers of vaccine injured children who just want to thank me for being a voice to them. To you guys, I say YOU ARE MY HEROS! When I started my Lioness Arising Series, it was my way to try to give a voice to the autism community. I quickly fell in love with this community and formed many friendships with mommas of vaccine-injured children from all over the world. Your stories literally break my heart and are one of the main reasons why I will never stop fighting for truth. And then there’s The Thinking Moms Revolution. A community of amazing thinkers who many of them have become dear friends to me. I always say I can’t imagine anything worse than knowing that I know that I know that I know what happened to my child, and the rest of the world denies it. I love that The Thinking Moms Revolution is changing the mindsets of many people.

Full Circle Moment: 2 years ago I shared Thinking Moms co-founder, Kim Spencer, sons story of vaccine injury and recovery in my Lioness Arising Series. Never would I have imagined that we would become dear friends, and two years later I’d be traveling 10 hours to spend the weekend at her house, meeting her son, and being cooked for and waited on by her. Haha! Just kidding! Thanks Kim for all the meals and opening your home to us. I love you and your precious family! What a special weekend it was to meet Patrick. Wow! Recovery is real and beautiful. Patrick, age 14, now makes handmade American flags out of wood, steel rods, nuts, and bolts. These flags are amazing. I bought one from him. This American flag will forever hang in my yard as a special reminder that what started out as a simple blog for family and friends has turned into a one of the most special avenues that I have, where I get to travel and meet these amazing heros face to face!

photo 1 (26)

photo 2 (21)

Many of the other mothers I meet are mothers who were searching for truth. Either they had vaccine safety & efficacy questions or they were noticing something in their child after a round of shots and their instinct was speaking to them, one way or another they found this blog. Their stories are amazing. I wish I could share them all!

The past 5 years of writing this blog has been something that is hard to put into words. The loss of friendships when I decided to fist start writing about vaccines was heartbreaking for me. The death threats and hate mail, also not fun. And then the recent FDA adventure. I’m not going to go into details, but for those of you that read this blog regularly, you will see that every blog post I’ve ever written on essential oils is no longer on this blog. You can thank our friends at the FDA for that. Working with a legal team is not something I ever though would happen as a blog writer.  Last week I was ready to be done with this blog forever. And then I took this recent trip and met dozens of blog readers who shared their personal stories of what this blog has meant to them and how it’s changed their families radically, and it was confirmed once again that this is a God-given passion and I will continue to write, even when I don’t want to. The Lord is so sweet and gracious in that He showed me a glimpse into the impact that this blog has made and it was exactly what I needed to keep going. I’m so thankful to serve a faithful God that redeems, refreshes, and restores us. “For He who calls you is faithful, and He will do it” -1 Thessalonians 5:24

I often think of this God-given passion that was given to me. Write about vaccines. Yikes! I know many, many, many friends that do not vaccinate, but they also don’t share or talk or write about it. Sometimes I’m envious of that. I wish I could hide in my own little bubble with my 5 kids, knowing that the decisions that we have made for our families health work for us, and that’s all that matters. But that’s not the case for me. I write about one of the most controversial topics and it’s not always what I want to do. I opened up recently in a post called “Blog Bullies and Hate Mail”, where I share the ugly truth of what bloggers like me deal with when speaking out about vaccines. But the Lord is faithful and constantly refreshing me and this past weekend tangibly showing me that my efforts are not in vain, but are truly helping others.

For those of you that I met this past weekend, thank-you! Thank-you for sharing your story with me. I pray that I can continue to educate, inspire, and encourage you all to follow your instincts and continue to make the health choices that feel right and work best for you and your family!

Really though, this blog is NOT AT ALL ABOUT ME. This is a God thing. And to HIM, ALL THE GLORY!

“Now to Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us. To HIM be the glory” -Ephesians 3:20

Yay for truth!
xoxo, Jessica

Lioness Arising Mother #9: Robin Maiocca

This might be one of my most special blog posts I’ve ever written, as I’m sharing the personal story of one of my longest and closest friends. I am honored to share Robins story in my Lioness Arising series. Robin & I have known each other for over 20 years. We met in high school and became good friends. We have literally watched each other grow up. I remember about 8 years ago when I wrote to Robin and told her I was writing a book on vaccines. She replied something along the lines of  “Thank-you, but no thank-you I don’t want to hear anything you have to say regarding vaccines”.

Robin & I remained good friends even through our “let’s agree to disagree” approach to the topic of vaccines. At the time, one or both of us were always pregnant and having babies, but we never talked about the topic of vaccines again.

Then Robin’s 3rd child had a serious vaccine reaction. And this is where her story begins. Here is Robin’s story in her own words. There are 2 parts to her story. What took place 4 years ago and present time.

Powerful. Anointed. Truth.


This is my story.

Part I: 4 years ago…

My “vaccine-awareness” story (for lack of a better phrase) began in 2010 shortly after the birth of our third child, Phoebe. Up until this time I vaccinated both my children and always stayed on top of the vaccine schedule through wellness visits, etc. They gave me a very structured schedule to follow and so I did. If I missed a visit, the pediatrician would always make a reminder call and I would be in next week. I never thought about the process – this is simply what you do when you have kids, right?

I never thought to question these visits. Sure it broke my heart every time my children received a shot. I cried at all of Hannah’s because she was my first. With Christopher, I was stronger because I had been through it with Hannah and I knew what to expect. Plus this was ‘for their health.’ It’s required and who was I to question. I mean, why would I? The doctor said it’s safe and they have to have the best interest of my children’s health in mind. That’s what I would tell myself. So I vaccinated them completely. They received everything they needed to enter school and so on. (sigh)

My Crisis

3 kids

Then Phoebe came along. There is something that I will say about this child: Phoebe is very special! She has been the most ‘perfect baby’ I could have ever hoped for or imagined. From the moment I held her in the hospital, there was something so sweet and almost magical about her. She held her head up for the first 3 hours in the hospital, looking all around. She would already be looking into my face and apparently studying it. She was very aware and very alert. She ate well and slept beautifully. Pacifying her was the easiest thing in the world. Upon leaving the hospital, Phoebe received her Hepatitis B vaccine because – as I was told – that’s just what we need to do before leaving the hospital.


Fast forward two months and it was now time for her first ‘wellness’ visit and thus her first set of vaccines. Up to this point, Phoebe had never cried except for when she was overly tired or hungry. It was really strange how utterly content she was. Sometimes, when she was hungry, I would just let her cry for a few minutes because it was such a sweet soft cry and I hardly ever heard it. Sounds crazy I’m sure, but I promise it’s true.

So I took Phoebe in for her doctor’s visit. Everything was perfect on her: weight, height, etc. At the end of the visit, the nurse came back in to administer the vaccinations. She administered the shots and yes, Phoebe cried, which was what I had expected. I immediately picked her up and held her in my arms. I consoled her, nursed her and comforted her best I could. She cried most of the way home but that was very typical. I knew this from my other children. I thought nothing of it. When I got home though things changed and this is where it all began for me.

Phoebe began crying in a way I had never heard her. It wasn’t even a cry, it was a wail. She would straighten her legs and scream at the top of her lungs. It was like nothing I had ever heard before, from any of my other children. Her eyes were huge and her face was bloodshot red. Immediately, my God- given ‘mother’s instinct’ told me something was very wrong. Now, if you are a mother, you know what I’m talking about. It is that undeniable, gut-wrenching feeling in the middle of your being that you can not ignore, even if you tried. My heart flipped upside down and immediately I started asking, “What have I done?”

Phoebe cried, non-stop for four hours. I walked around my house holding my precious baby girl wondering what in the hell was happening to her. Clearly something had happened. It was like she was being burned and tormented. I know how over the top dramatic that sounds but that is the best description I can offer. She was trapped in her own little body and I had no way of helping her. When I would look at her face, she would look me in the eyes and scream. It was as if she was saying, “Mommy, make it stop.” I will never forget these hours in which I was convinced I had lost my little girl. Something was happening to her and I could not make it stop. I could not comfort her. I could not bring her peace. It was beyond my control. Her little body was exhausted from crying, as if she was wailing with all her strength, and her head would hang low.  Then, every few minutes, her legs would shoot straight out stiff and the wailing would begin again. .My world had stopped.

The screaming continued into the night and the next day. I would say she cried uncontrollably for twenty-four hours straight. My sweet precious little angel… what had happened? Immediately I knew this was a result from the vaccines. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that out.

My Journey


For the next two weeks, my heart was in turmoil. I could not believe what I witnessed and was scared to death for her four month wellness visit when she would be receiving more of the same vaccines. My heart went into mayhem and I could not sleep. I asked my husband to be praying for Phoebe and for me.

During these next few weeks I knew I needed to research and study these vaccines. I didn’t know where to start. I had no one I could turn to because no one really talks about these things. So I prayed. I asked the Lord, “Help me, give me wisdom on how to handle this whole thing. I don’t know where to turn.”

Some may say it’s a coincidence, but I know my prayer was answered. Anyway, whatever your beliefs are here, the timing for me could not have been more perfect. I would like to call it a “Divine Intervention”. My friend Jessica randomly emailed me that day asking how I was. I was on her heart. And I immediately remembered the book she told me she was writing 4 years earlier. (this was before this blog existed). She was the exact person I needed to talk to that day. We talked for hours. My eyes were opened, the blinders were lifted, and there was no looking back.

With her help and much prayer, I was able to surround myself with the recourses I needed to study and understand the vaccine/medical and pharmaceutical industries from both sides and not just what I learned from my pediatrician. Not just from the literature they gave me but from other sources as well.

I learned about the history of vaccinations and the long term damage and side-effects they are causing. I learned about what they do to a child’s developing mind and body and brain. Most importantly, I read scores of personal testimonies of real parents who watched their children disappear before their eyes after receiving vaccines. I had no idea these sources existed. I had never had a reason to look. The information I obtained, the studies I read and facts that I learned about vaccines were shocking to me. Shocking and appalling.

In the time between Phoebe’s two and four month ‘wellness’ visit, when my heart was in complete disarray, I made a commitment to my husband that I needed to learn as much as I could before we put another needle in the arm of any of our children. I asked him to trust me with what I was learning and assured him that this would help us to make the best decision for our family. I, my husband and several friends earnestly prayed over this decision and we eventually came to the conclusion, after hours/days and weeks of research that we would no longer vaccinate our children.

I believe with all my heart that Phoebe would be damaged somehow if I continued down this road. She had a reaction that no doctor can tell me is normal. And if they did, shame on them. The sad thing is that, from what I learned, Phoebe’s reaction was nothing compared to what some other parents have gone through. I say that with a broken heart for those families. The stories I have heard and read are nothing short of heartrending.

This is what awakened me to the dangers of vaccines: a close call with my own child. I understand every parent needs to make their own decision regarding their children’s health. I would never tell someone not to vaccinate. I would simply ask you to study both sides. Read personal testimonies. Look at studies. Ignorance is not bliss when it comes to the health of our children. Understand that there truly are great risks that go along with vaccinations. Risks that do not “outweigh the benefits.”

I am so thankful and grateful because God’s grace is sufficient. So far, none of my children have any lasting side-effects from vaccination (that I know of). However, if I could do it all over again, knowing what I know now, I would have never chosen to vaccinate. The sad thing is, I never knew I actually had a choice.

I now believe that we are fearfully and wonderfully made by our Creator. He has given us an immune system and (as I have found) the countless number of vaccinations that we give our children go much further in compromising the immune system than it does in aiding it. I have searched Scriptures in vain to find any place where God tells his people to inject (or ingest) potions to assure that their children will be healthy. Needless to say, as a Christian I was appalled to learn that aborted fetus tissue is actually an ingredient the pharmaceutical companies currently use in their MANY of the vaccinations. Needless to say, this revealed to me the spirit behind much of what the world terms ‘wellness plans.’ I pray that the next generation of moms would look more deeply into what I have found to be, in so many cases, a very sinister scheme to make profits from pumping our children with poison.

I guess my one prayer is: please just be informed. There are so many layers to this that need to be pealed away and looked at closely. The vaccine industry is so different than it looks like on the surface and I believe we owe it to our children to be absolutely educated in this area so we can make the best, healthiest decisions for their lives.

PS: The screaming I was describing with Phoebe those first 24 hours after 2 month vaccines… that screaming is called the “encephalitic cry”. It means the brain is swollen and inflamed. It is listed as a warning on the vaccine package insert. It is listed as a warning, because of the “seriousness or frequency of reporting”. My precious, beautiful, healthy little girl…her brain swollen and inflamed. Really? Why? … Because I didn’t know. But now I do.

Part II: 4 years later…


Many times I’ve gone over my children’s past medical records and they have truly broken my heart and brought many tears to my eyes. It is unbelievable to me how often I ran to the doctor for “ear infections”, “strep throats”, & “rashes”. And every visit I got antibiotics and/or prescriptions refilled again and again and again. I’m amazed at how sick they were even though we went to all of their “well” check visits. 

It’s absolutely crazy to me that in the last four years since Phoebe’s reaction and my utter cry for wisdom, I have not been to the doctor one time for my children. Not one time. All those ear infections, strep throat, & rashes, well they seemed to not come as often and when/if they do, I have been able to treat their illnesses naturally in my home. I learned about more natural ways because I was desperate to keep my children healthy and off of drugs. To keep toxins and poisons out of their bodies. If I had only known then what I know now I would’ve saved so much money and most importantly so much unnecessary stress on my children’s body. 

Deep down in my heart I used to always say if I ever got pregnant again I would do everything hundred times different. Never truly thinking that we were ever having another child I just tucked that thought away in my heart and just committed it to The Lord.

announcing Jeremiah (1)

In the summer of 2012 we unexpectedly became pregnant with our fourth child. While emotions were scattered at first because we weren’t “planning” this child, I ultimately knew this was a gift from The Lord. I knew he was giving me another opportunity to do things differently according to my heart and not what I was told to do. I always like to say that the Lord gave me back the years that the Locust had eaten with the beautiful pregnancy of our child number four.

Baby #4 is now a beautiful healthy, unvaccinated, never been to the doctor, hardly ever sick, completely healthy vibrant developing smart one-year-old little boy. The months while I was pregnant with him where some of my most magical moments. Preparing my heart for a natural birth, educating my mind for natural labor, and most importantly understanding that “well baby visits” were no longer something we would do once my child was born. My sweet little sons only doctor visit has been when we went to see our Midwife at six weeks old. My son is healthy, developing, growing, being nourished, and building his immunity in the proper ways the way he should. 

I thank the Lord every day for the experience that he allowed me to have with child number four. I’m thankful that the Lord blessed me with the opportunity of having a water birth. This was also something that in the depths of my heart I longed for once I realized the beauty of natural labor.


Today I have four healthy young children. Two which are basically fully vaccinated (up to 4 years ago), one that had one round of shots (and almost died) and one that has never been touched by a needle (my healthiest). I’m thankful for everything that the Lord has brought me through in these last 10 years. I have learned so much about our bodies and health and ultimately about our Lord and how he created us. I pray my story can encourage others to open their hearts and minds to take the lead role when it comes to the health of our kids and our families. Follow your instinct. And know that you have a choice. 

picture of me with all kids

To learn more about Robin, check out her family website at: www.growing4hisglory.com where she shares much of her knowledge in how she has kept her children healthy and doctor free for over 4 years. She also shares many of her resources that helped her make an informed choice when it came to vaccines.


Lioness Arising Mom #1: LJ Goes (Thinking Moms Revolution)

Lioness Arising Mom #2: Laurie Annie

Lioness Arising Mom #3: Melanie Baldwin (Thinking Moms Revolution)

Lioness Arising Mom #4: Rebecca Ferguson (Regarding Caroline)

Lioness Arising Mom #5: Melissa Vega

Lioness Arising Mom #6: Kim Spencer (Thinking Moms Revolution)

Lioness Arising Mom #7: Rainna Moran: (Chase Answers)

Lioness Arising Mom #8: Robyn Charron (Huffington Post Interview)

Lioness Arising Mom#9: Robin Maiocca 


Nurturing your Lioness Instinct

This blog post is my attempt at connecting two different thoughts/topics I have going on…so bear with me.

First: LIONESS ARISING. Two and a half years ago, I heard Lisa Bevere speak. She was powerful, anointed, and spoke on her newest book, Lioness Arising. That book radically changed me and gave me the courage to continue on the path that I felt like the Lord had called me on; speaking about vaccines. Shortly after reading the book, I started The Lioness Arising Mothers series, where I share mothers’ stories of their vaccine injured children. Through the words in Lisa’s book, I knew the Lord was giving me the permission I needed to fight for truth. He was telling me that the fight didn’t have to always look pretty or nice and that I could still be a Christian woman and fight for truth. When I first read the book Lioness Arising, I had so much stirring in my heart. I had a righteous anger inside me and a strong desire to speak out about it. I will never forget reading these following sentences:

How will you respond when you are fully, dangerously awake? What history will you make? Will you, like the fierce lioness, awaken from a tranquilized state and rise up to defend your family, your community, your world? Are you awake? Even now, what is stirring in your heart?

The world needs you, lovely lioness sister, not to merely wake up, but to give expression to your God-given fierce side. What does it look like for a Christian woman to be fierce? Is it yelling, screaming, clawing, and kicking? There might be a time for that.

That’s when my Lioness Arising Mothers series was born and I haven’t looked back. I have told powerful stories of powerful women and their amazing children.  I’ve met these women from all over the country. I am honored to tell their stories. I am honored to defend their truths.


What I didn’t know was that 2 1/2 years later, Lisa Bevere would be calling me. She found my blog series and was inspired by it. She wanted to know more about the subject of these Lioness Arising Mothers. She get’s it. SHE. GET’S. IT. We talked for over an hour on the phone. It was an honor. It was the validation and confirmation that I am doing EXACTLY what God has called me to do. It was an amazingly blessed day for me. The Lord did not have to send Lisa Bevere to confirm that I’m doing what I’ve been called to do, but the Lord is so sweet and loving and kind and gracious that He choose to bless me by personally sending the author of the book to encourage me and pray with me. The Lord always does exceedingly, abundantly above all that we can ask, think, or imagine. I am so blessed to have Lisa as a friend and mentor and look forward to future projects that we will collaborate on together. More on that later!

images (8)


While on the phone with Lisa, she asked me what my prayer was for women everywhere. I shared how my biggest prayer is that women would discover how to trust and follow their instincts. How it is the greatest gift God gives us and how everyday I watch this being stripped from women, especially mothers. I shared how I want women to be filled with the peace that comes from following our intuition and how sad I am to see women constantly living in fear and worry and guilt and shame and regret.

Of course, I am mainly speaking from the point of view of vaccines, well baby visits, and the choices we make for our children. As Lisa and I were discussing the topic of intuition, she said “You HAVE to read my book Nurture. I have a chapter on INTUITION”. A few days later, a box of books arrived. I sat and read the Intuition chapter this morning. I was blown away. I felt like I was reading a book written by a much smarter, wiser, cooler version of me. In this chapter were the words that I have always had stirring in my heart, but did not know how to put down on paper. It taught on everything I have desired to help women understand. I have always had such a strong desire to teach, educate, inspire, and encourage women to FOLLOW THEIR INSTINCT. And now 2 1/2 years later, this author is once again blessing me with the words I needed to help others. Sitting in my living room this morning, reading the chapter on intuition, and reading the words that so beautifully put it all together brought me to another full circle moment.

I started a project a few months back called PROJECT INSTINCT. You can read about it (HERE). I asked 100 mothers the same question and the overwhelming answer was INSTINCT. Reading Lisa’s chapter on Intuition was like connecting my PROJECT to the research behind INSTINCT. Read the Project Instinct post to better understand.

Intuition (noun): The state of being aware of or knowing something without having to discover or perceive it, or the ability to do this 2. Something known or believed instinctively, without actual evidence for it 3. Immediate knowledge of something.

The definition of intuition carries a designation of an immediate sense of understanding. When the answer is presented, it is known and therefore immediately recognized. And undeniable quickening occurs when truth is heard.

I’ve been researching and speaking out about vaccines for 8 years. I’ve been writing about it for about 4. The controversy surrounding vaccines is uglier than politics. There is a never ending conflict between both sides. I think of the many debates I’ve been involved in over the years. Most of the time, it’s not a debate about science or facts, but it’s a debate about a belief system. Vaccines are a philosophy, which is why the topic is met with so much controversy. And almost every single time – the debates  become personal. I love what Lisa says in her chapter on Intuition:

“If we make the conflict personal, there will be no true or lasting solution.

I have wasted far too much time, thought, and energy trying to make sense of the senseless…and so have you. Each of us must decide those days are over. Daughters, you will come up against many problems and conflicts. You may be tempted to take many of them personally. I implore you, fight the temptation. These issues and asides will never be successfully navigated from a personal perspective, so don’t make it personal”.

I think of the autism moms I have grown to know and love and advocate for, and how personal it is for them when someone tries to tell them that what they know to be exactly true about their child is false. And it hurts my heart for them. Or when a mother is belittled my her pediatrician for choosing not to vaccinate based on her instinct. It becomes personal. This fight for truth is so much greater though.

“For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rules and authorities of the unseen world, against might powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places –Ephesians 6:12

No problem can be solved on the same level at which you meet it. -Albert Einstein

I believe this battle is spiritual. And this chapter goes into much greater detail than what I’m covering in this simple blog post. As much as I want to share every word from the chapter on Intuition, I can only encourage you to read it. It’s not at all a book about vaccines. But it is everything I have ever believed to be true when it comes to intuition and the great big vaccine debate. And as my favorite doctor, the virtuous hero Dr. Wakefield says: “To the parents I would say, trust your instinct above all else. When considering how to vaccinate your children, read, get educated, and demand fully informed consent and answers to your questions. When you are stonewalled or these answers are not to your satisfaction, trust your instinct. I say this as someone who has studied and engaged in the science and who has become aware of the limitations of our knowledge and understanding of vaccine safety issues. Maternal instinct, in contrast, has been a steady hand upon the tiller of evolution; we would not be here without it”


I’ll end with a few more quotes from the chapter on INTUITION from the book Nurture.

“Some of us have quenched the light of our God-given feminine intuition and it needs to reignited”

“Intuition is a spiritual faculty and does not explain, but simply points the way”

Did you know the Latin breakdown of intuition (in and tueor) yields “Inward tutor”? How cool is that?

Given to us by the Holy Spirit! (1 John 2: 27)

“When truth is spoken the inward tutor, Holy Spirit, confirms it to you and in you. You will feel as though light and strength, truth and freedom are being poured out upon you”. Intuition is given to us from God.

“The gift that follows intuition is the gift of peace of mind”. (Wow!)

“The peace God gives us (after following our instinct) abides even in the midst of turmoil and raging storms. There may be a few drops that remind you what is coming against you, but you are safe from the deluge that would seek to overwhelm you”.

“Unfathomable peace that surpasses our natural ability to understand”. Wow! This is the gift that follows intuition!

“To give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, and to guide us to the path of peace.” –Luke 1:79

“We must steward truth well, but truth without inner peace does not work”

“Peace fosters an atmosphere for discernment to flourish and this insight is invaluable. Intuition creates a level of awareness and discernment that equips you make a wise decision”


Wow! Wow! Wow! The foreword to the book Nurture reads:

“This book is dedicated to every woman, regardless of age, who longs to make her connection with other women and touch the world she lives in but does not know how. You, beautiful one, are an answer, not a problem and we need both you and your contribution. May these words help facilitate what you need to begin to see your life enlarged on every level. May the God-gifted treasure within you flourish as you find your voice and place as one among the many women who even now watch for you”.

If you are a mother reading this post and struggling with trusting your intuition, or looking to give and get what you need to flourish, please read the book Nurture. Find other women to surround yourself with who will validate your intuition. Find a pediatrician who will respect your decisions. My prayer is that fear and worry would be replaced by peace. Instinct is the most precious thing we own. No-one can take that from you. Guard it well.

“The only real, valuable thing is intuition” -Albert Einstein

Lioness Arising Mother #8: Robyn Charron

I’d like to introduce my next mother from the Lioness Arising Mother series, Robyn Charron. I first learned about her story a few months ago. When a mothers story grips me and I can’t stop thinking about it, I know I have to re-tell their story. Robyn fits the definition of a Lioness Arising Mother in every way and I am honored that she is allowing me to share her sons story. It is both heartbreaking and encouraging. Heartbreaking because this is the new normal and represents so many children. And encouraging because this momma gets it. She. Gets. It.

If you or anyone you know has a child with colic, reflux, head-banging, food allergies, or constant rashes please share this story.

Share. This. Story.

In Robyn’s own words….

“If you wait until your child is born to think about vaccines, a vaccine injury is almost impossible to recognize.  You are too tired and overwhelmed when it strikes.  You are too immersed in the trees to see the forest.  Too busy putting band-aids on symptoms to see the syndrome.  You might be told that you have a sensitive, high-needs baby on your hands and his sensitivities manifest as colic, reflux, head-banging, food allergies, or contact rashes.  You will be told that it is all normal, which is the truth, considering what passes for normal these days.  Now I see these signs in other infants and I try to intervene.  I try to warn the parents that these sensitivities mean so much more than their doctor tells them.  I know that these parents are too down in it to see for themselves.

My son was born and like a lot of people, we put more thought into the paint in his bedroom than we had into vaccinations.  I knew one person, nearly a decade ago, who didn’t vaccinate his children.  He said, “We don’t put that crap into our kids.”  He scared me.  I thought he was a conspiracy theorist.  I would never be like that guy.

We were presented with the Hepatitis B vaccine paperwork on our child’s third day of life, just before leaving the hospital.  I have a Bachelor of Science in Biology but I didn’t know what Hep B was.  None of the parenting books I’d read mentioned that I would be expected to make a decision I knew nothing about while I was high on painkillers.  If you don’t already know, Hep B is a sexually transmitted blood borne disease that is also spread through using dirty needles.  Children don’t catch Hep B at the playground, or from a sneeze, or from drinking water.  The vaccine administered to a newborn baby will have long worn off by the time the child becomes sexually active.  If a mother is Hep B positive and has been receiving prenatal care, she certainly knows her status prior to the baby arriving.

So why are hospitals vaccinating all of our newborns for Hepatitis B?  Because they can.  Because almost no one says “No.”  It is as simple as that.

We all want to trust our doctors.  No one wants to believe that the CDC and the AAP aren’t looking out for our best interests.  No one wants to retroactively realize they were responsible for harming their babies.  No one wants to debate their child’s pediatrician.  No one wants to have this battle with their spouse.

We allowed the Hep B vaccine that day.  We actually said, “It must be a really big deal or it wouldn’t come with all of this consent paperwork,” but allowed it anyway.  We took our baby home that evening and spent the wee morning hours wishing we could put that hysterical child back into my body.  We didn’t make a connection between the two events.  We were already too down in it to see.

A week later we were still miserable.  My husband would race home from work to help me.  I would still be in my pajamas, covered in spit-up, leaking milk.  Our baby would be crying.  I would be crying.  I wouldn’t have fed myself, brushed my teeth or folded any laundry.  At two weeks old our son was diagnosed with “classic colic” and it did not let up for the next five months.  It was the most severe case of colic anyone in our lives had ever seen.  We ended up medicating him with an antispasmodic to save our marriage.

Day before 2 month vaccinations

When he was nine weeks old I took my fussy baby in for his 2-month checkup and was attacked with paperwork.  I wasn’t prepared for what the check-up would entail.  “Sign here, sign here, sign here, he needs his vaccinations.”  They were three injections and two orals that covered 7 diseases.  “Is this safe?  Why are there so many?”  They don’t want you to ask questions.  They don’t have any answers.  There is a list of side-effects on the package inserts but they do not share it with you.  You are rushed to hurry up.

They try to strip you of all maternal instinct when you are in your most vulnerable postpartum state. 

My postpartum anxiety was sky-high.  I was a shell of my former self and sleep-deprived.  I had been screamed at for hours on end by this tortured baby.  I was too down in it to think.

I asked to nurse him through the shots and was denied.  I signed off on the vaccines.  Within 20 minutes he fell into a deep unwakeable sleep.  This colicky child of ours did not usually fall asleep out in the middle of commotion.  He did not ordinarily pass out the moment I put him into the car.  I called my husband to tell him that something was wrong.  I put our son into his crib but even the transition did not wake him.  I hovered over him as he slept for hours—something he’d never done before.

When he finally did wake, he screamed a high pitched scream I’d never heard before or since.

I remember running into his room and standing over him with the phone, letting the nurse at the doctor’s office listen.  She insisted this hysteria was due to “pain from the injection site” and said I should give him more Tylenol.  I didn’t believe her.  The note they sent me home with said to call if he had a high-pitched scream so why were they saying it was normal?

He didn’t want to be held.  He didn’t want me touching him.  After 15 minutes of ear-splitting screams I nursed him back to sleep.  I was sitting inches from him in his baby hammock chair when he woke the second timeI will never forget the way his arms stiffened up and shot out from his body with his piercing screams.  His eyes scrunched tightly shut as he put every ounce of his energy into the terrifying sounds coming out of his teeny, tiny person.  He wasn’t looking at me.  He didn’t even know I was there.   He went back to sleep and the scream stopped.

I stayed up all night doing the research I should have done 2 months before.

His scream was cry-encephalitis, also known as the DTaP scream.  It is brain inflammation.  It is literally an allergic reaction to vaccines in the brain.  It is not uncommon.  Had I taken him to the ER, it would have been documented with an EEG.  Instead I was lied to by my pediatrician’s office until the event had passed.

That was the beginning of the end of vaccines for us.

Children do not have the requisite myelin sheath coating their nervous system pathways to withstand bombardment of viruses, aluminum, mercury, formaldehyde, MSG, and animal DNA.  Damage to the nerves not covered by myelin sheath is autism.  It is Asperger’s.  It is epilepsy.  It is asthma.  It is well-documented and accepted by mainstream media that damage to the myelin sheath is physically and mentally debilitating in head injuries, yet the connection to autism remains unacknowledged.

Believe me, it made me sick to think about not vaccinating my child.  I flip-flopped on my stance countless times.  I told myself that at his next vaccinations we would go wait in the parking lot of the emergency room just in case.  Then I told myself that was crazy talk—what kind of mother would subject her child to something that might send him to the emergency room?  The day before his 4-month doctor appointment I finally got up the nerve to tell his doctor we were holding off on more vaccinations until he turned one.  The doctor took the news so well that I felt silly for making myself sick over it.

Our baby now had eczema all of the time.  At 4 months he was covered head to toe in a body rash from his first tablespoon of banana.  We held off two more months for solid food.  At 6 months old he developed a contact rash on his face from sweet potatoes.  I pushed his doctor for answers, and a blood test came back positive for a peanut allergy.

My 6 month old breastfed baby had deadly peanut allergy.  I didn’t see a connection.  I was way too down in it by now.

At 12 months old his pediatrician who promised us that he “wasn’t a stickler” for the CDC vaccination schedule kicked us out of the practice for not resuming the shots.  “It’s stressing me out not to vaccinate your child,” he said.  I was holding my baby in my arms, trying to explain our fears, describing how horrible that terrifying day ten months prior had been.  I told him how worried I was that we would end up in the ER this time.  I was humiliated.  He’d told his entire staff he was kicking us out that day.  I left in tears.  I thought of all of the things I’d wished I said to him for months to come.

We never did resume the vaccines.  It took some time to feel confident in that decision.  My supportive husband stood by me in our defiance even though neither of us knew what we were doing, and man we were scared. unnamed (1)Today at 4 years old

At 13 months old our child broke out in hives at a birthday party from bites of a meatball that contained walnut.  At 16 months we’d had enough and took him to an allergist for a $600 skin test.  He was officially diagnosed with allergies to wheat, egg, melon, cat, ragweed, grass, cedar, tree nuts, and a deadly peanut allergy.  We’ve since learned that he can’t have corn or potato and still can’t eat banana.  My baby has a dozen allergies.

I had to learn how to feed him all over again.  The natural process of these eliminations led to putting him on an organic Paleo/Primal diet, and my husband and I followed suit ourselves six months later.

My child was 16 months old when he was diagnosed with the slew of allergies and I didn’t make the connection that he was harmed by the vaccines even then.  I was mystified.  I asked the allergist what caused these problems in my child.  His answer was, “He’s under-vaccinated.  We need vaccines to challenge our immune systems in order to eat food without our bodies attacking it.”

Although I did not believe such an unfounded statement, I was too busy putting band-aids on symptoms to see the syndrome.  It wasn’t until The Greater Good was released in October of 2011—nearly 2 years after the fateful vaccinations—that the anvil hit me on the head.  It all made sense.  The colic, the encephalitic scream, the rashes, the mast cell issues, the hyper-vigilant immune system.

There is now no doubt in our minds what path we were forcing our sensitive child to go down had we continued vaccinating.  I know in my heart that he cannot handle vaccines and he would have autism today had we continued.  All the signs were there.  My second child who statistically shares half of his DNA is nothing like this.  A needle has never pierced her skin.  She can eat anything.  She does not get contact rashes.  She never had colic.  She does not have eczema.

This is what really gets to me, though:  The staunchest defenders of vaccines.  The parents who will go toe-to-toe with me in a public forum saying what a bad parent I am for not vaccinating.  And then what do I find out months later, years later, always in private?

Their child has food allergies.  Their child has a learning disability.  Their child is medicated for ADHD.  Their child is crippled with asthma.  Their child is on the spectrum.

How do they publicly proclaim, “We vaccinated on schedule and my child turned out just fine!” but in private they are dealing with these problems?

Welcome to the new normal.  Your child isn’t fine. Your child is vaccine injured– just like mine”


About Lioness Arising Mother #8

Robyn has a Bachelor of Science in Biology and years of experience as a lab tech. She previously wrote a public blog The Robyn Nest, but it is now private due to security reasons. Sadly mothers who share the truth are persecuted. Pieces she has written have been published by Scary Mommy, Mass Appeal, The Girl Who for Babble, Bonbon Break, Just Eat Real Food, and MSN.  The Thinking Mom’s Revolution published a video she made. And she has done a live interview for the Huffington Post, that you can watch (HERE). This video shares her powerful story in more detail. Please watch. 

Lastly, please pray for this mother and her son. A message I received from her today: “My son just went into respiratory failure at noon yesterday for unknown reasons.  The doctors’ best guess is that his peanut-free school has traces of peanut butter from kids who ate it for breakfast and didn’t wash their hands.  It seems he touched something and it got into his eyes.  He had to be epipenned by the director and took his 3rd ambulance ride in 8 months.  Everyone needs to know that for the majority of kids, this is preventable.  Skip the vaccines.  We are living a nightmare”

It doesn’t have to be this way.

“If there ever comes a time when the women of the world come together purely and simply for the benefit of mankind, it will be a force such as the world has never known”
-Matthew Arnold, Nineteeth-Century British Poet and Philosopher

To learn more about the Lioness Arising Series and read about the other mothers changing the world, click (HERE)

Lioness Arising Mom #6: Kim Spencer

I am honored to share the next Momma from the Lioness Arising Series: Kim Spencer. Kim & her son Patrick offer a message of hope and recovery.  And a whole lot of blood, sweat, & tears in between. Theirs is a journey of truth and awareness and of giving back to a community that is growing at an epidemic rate.

Kim Spencer received an autism diagnosis for her son in 2003 (3 months before he turned 3). Since then, Kim has become a leading activist in the autism community and has used her sons journey to help others. When her son was first diagnosed, Kim immediately began to research the neurological disorder that currently affects 1 in 88 children. Her dedication to research and seeking truth, has ultimately led to a 9 year journey of healing and recovery.

This journey is not for the faint of heart and Kim is definitely a leader when it comes to helping others. She marched in Washington in 2004 to advocate autism reform and has spoken at CDC workshops (read HERE).  She was named Woman to Watch by Skirt Magazine and Champion of Change by WJCL-TV in Savannah, Georgia. Kim has also served as the head of a Patient Liason Program, where she counseled families on biomedical approaches to treating autism, ADHD, childhood bipolar disorder and other neurological issues.

Today Kim is currently one of the co-founders and authors of The Thinking Moms Revolution.
Thinking Moms Picture

After reading many of Kim’s publications and speaking with her, I feel the best way to tell her story is through her own words:

“I jumped into action to figure out how to help my son and the last 9 years have been the most crazy, stressful, upsetting and also rewarding years of my life.  My son is doing great, but I decided years ago that autism or no autism, for the rest of my life, whenever I have the chance I will be as loud as I can on the subject of my son and children like him”

When Kim first began her journey of research, she describes: “I found information about childhood shots that my doctor wasn’t giving me,”

What she found was that “children with autism spectrum disorders have medical problems that need to be addressed. These kids are overloaded with viruses, yeast, bacteria, parasites and/or heavy metals. They have serious food allergies and sensitivities, and when these issues are addressed, the kids get better.” 

And that is exactly what Kim did to heal her son from autism. She addressed the issues using what is commonly referred to as biomedical treatments. Today her son Patrick is the closest he’s ever been to recovery. It was not an easy journey.

Kim & Patrick in hyperbaric chamber

In a recent b-day letter she wrote to her son Patrick for his 12th b-day (you can read the entire letter here), she shares:

“…As you know (Patrick), you’ve had a different childhood. One filled with confusion, pain and loss. Love has taken us very far, but there’s no denying you have had to contend with more than any child should ever have to. A sick stomach, diet restrictions, an immune system on fire, invasion after invasion of your body and mind.

Daily control over your every move involving ten times the professionals than a healthier kid requires. Everyone in our family has done so much to bring you back to us. And guess what? We are all part of the short list of lucky ones. It has worked. Diet changes that brought you into our world, HBOT that helped you feel your body well enough to potty train at almost age 6.

IV chelation rid your body of the mercury, lead and cadmium that the tests showed that you carried, supplements filling every counter space and cabinet, and a couple of amazing doctors brought us soooo far!

There’s no doubt that the tireless fight for you has been exhausting, traumatic and expensive. But there’s not a penny spent or a brow wiped that hasn’t been worth it. We would all spend a thousand times more dollars, minutes and functioning adrenal cells to bring you back to us if needed. We are so proud of you. As your Mother, I can truly say that I would never have been the person I am without you.

I promise I will never give up the fight for kids like you, and families like ours. Many awesome people helped us along the way, and I plan to pay it forward for life. This might be quite tiresome as our family moves away from the disability world, but I hope you will understand that, in your honor, in memory of your lost childhood, I will scream and fight and kick in hopes of preventing another family from going down our road. This will not be easy. What happened to you and so many of our friends’ kids is not something the world wants to hear about. Why it is so hard to understand that vaccines can hurt people, especially babies with immune system issues in the family, I do not know. Some day we will talk about human greed and how that has affected you. For now, Mom will fight. You can join me later if you’d like.

I promise I will always be on your team, assist you in finding the best situations in places where people understand you and care about you. If, at some point, you ask me to back off, I will be over in the corner watching with my mouth shut. But I will be there for you every day I am on this planet.

In one of Kim’s many publications, she writes a list titled: 25 Random Things about my Son with Autism, where she briefly details the journey from pregnancy, to shots given during infancy, to diagnosis, to recovery &  healing. I loved her last point:

*I do not believe that God gave him to me because he thought I was special and could handle a special child. Don’t send me that email. Greed has poisoned our children and that’s that. My son is a victim of greed. It kills me every day. But it will change soon. And I won’t shut up until it does. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy’s child.

Keep fighting Kim. And watch out world…Patrick will be a young man one day, and he will have a story to tell…


To learn more about the Lioness Arising Series and read about the other mothers changing the world, click (HERE)


Lioness Arising Mom #5: Melissa Vega

I am so honored to introduce my 5th Lioness Arising Mom, the amazingly courageous Melissa Vega.

I started this series to bless these mommas by vindicating them through telling their story, and in hopes of helping others not experience the same heartache & pain.

These stories a true reality for many many parents these days. It’s not a fun journey to walk through and it’s a hard lesson to learn. What’s worse is that their are still people everywhere who don’t want to believe them. Each and everytime I tell one of their stories, I am blessed in return. Blessed because everytime I get to know one of these amazing mothers, my life becomes incredibly enriched. Enriched by truth. And a passion worth fighting for. And for every “debate” I’ve been in over the last 7 years, it is all worth fighting for these mommas. I recently said, “These autism mommas captured my heart…and there is no turning back”…

Before I tell the story, I have to be honest. The night she sent it to me, I wasn’t prepared. I was sitting on my bathroom floor bathing my kids. And her story hit me in my gut. I sobbed. I was so angry over what she’s had to indure. It doesn’t have to be this way. And then I was thankful. I’m thankful that we serve a God who heals and I’m thankful that her story can be told.

This story should be required reading for every expecting mother.

Here is Melissa’s story, told through her eyes.

“My husband and I married young and I could not wait to be able to afford to be a stay at home mom. Fast forward seven years, my husband has a good job with the government and we can afford to start a family. There is so much that I know now that I would have done differently during that pregnancy. My parents came out to Miami for the delivery and then Aidan decided not to arrive on time.  My doctor told me that he could induce and there would be no complications. A date was decided and Aidan was forced into the world. Holding him for the first time was an awakening. I never knew how powerful love could be.

He was vaccinated on schedule and reflecting on his baby journal breaks my heart.  I tell him in the journal that I am causing this pain because I love him and want to protect him.  During Thanksgiving week of 2005, he had his two month shots and stopped pooping completely.  He was exclusively breastfed and pooped after every feeding up until that day.  When I finally got a doctor to call me back, I was reassured that this was perfectly normal and to give him water with Karo syrup.  I could slap that stupid new mom for believing this was normal.  From that day on, he could not move his bowels unless I used an enema.  Holding down your screaming baby with a bloated belly is an awful feeling. I wouldn’t know for another 3 years the correlation to GI issues and autism.

My husband is transferred to DC for a job that will require him to travel non stop for the next two and half years.  Aidan is a happy, healthy baby hitting his milestones and walking at 9.5 months.  But he’s not really talking.  “He’s an only child.  Boys are late talkers.  Maybe you need to talk to him more.”  Since it was mostly just Aidan and myself, I felt I was to blame for the late speech.  He could sign with me so I knew he understood what I was saying, but only had a handful of words.  Then I hear about Dr. Wakefield and the MMR.  I look at his records and it’s too late… he has already had the shot.  I made an appointment to talk to his pediatrician about vaccines and their safety.  “There is nothing to worry about.  They are perfectly safe.  There is no evidence of vaccines causing autism.”  So I continued to vaccinate and slowly lost my little boy.  Between 15-18 months, he stopped making eye contact,  wasn’t interested in playing with other children or toys appropriately.  He was completely obsessed with trains and could swing for hours.  His pediatrician kept telling me that all of the quirky things he was doing (like flapping his hands) was perfectly normal and that his kids did the same things.  I have often wondered if his children were autistic and he didn’t recognize the signs.

During my second pregnancy, I started researching vaccines and wanted to do things differently.  I couldn’t understand why the hep b vaccine was given on the first day of life if I was not a carrier.  This is a disease transmitted through sexual contact and intravenous drug use.  I was pretty sure he would not be doing these things in the hospital nursery and opted out of this vaccine.  I made sure everyone in my L&D knew my wishes.  My second son was born a fat, healthy baby.  I decided to do an alternate vaccine schedule with him.

When my boys were 3 years and 4 months respectively, my husband was transferred to the US Embassy in Uruguay.  Within weeks of our arrival, I was certain something was seriously wrong.  Aidan stopped sleeping and started banging his head.  Everything in his world had just turned over and he couldn’t adjust.  His daddy wasn’t traveling anymore and was home every night, he had a new baby brother, a new house, a new school, in a new country (without our pet beagle) with a new language all around him.  I dreaded telling my husband and adding more pressure along with his new job.  I got the courage one morning just to say it, “something is wrong with Aidan.  I think he has autism.” 

I started researching everything I could find.  There were very few resources in Uruguay, but we were able to find a speech and occupational therapist that spoke English along with our beloved ABA therapist.  We started him on the GFCF diet (eventually eliminating soy, dyes and preservatives) and made plans to head home to Texas for part family vacation, part doctor consultations.  I contacted Thoughtful House and CARD (center for autism and related diseases) in Austin and made appointments.  When I sat down with my initial intake packet, I felt sick to my stomach when I looked at the vaccination dates along with dates of illnesses.  I had allowed this to happen.

My list of questions was several pages long and we left Texas with a biomedical action plan, an official diagnosis of high functioning autism, and hope from the doctor telling me I could reverse this with a lot of time and hard work.  We were also told to stop vaccinating both boys since Aidan had extremely high levels of mercury, aluminum, formaldehyde and arsenic.

Not one doctor had ever asked for our medical history when we vaccinated our children.  The fact that my husband and I both had amalgam fillings in our mouths, and both have a history of autoimmune disorders in our families was never considered.  The fact that I grew up surrounded by 4 major chemical plants and my dad was exposed to Agent Orange while in Vietnam.  No one asked us those questions.  We had loaded the toxin gun and vaccines had just pulled the trigger.

My first biomedical supplement was cod liver oil.  Aidan went from saying “juice” to “want juice” to “want apple juice” within one week.  I was sold.  Adding magnesium took away his three year battle with constipation.  He started to gain weight and not look like those commercials about starving Ethiopian children (big, bloated belly and skeletal limbs). He made steady gains with each new thing we implemented, but he still wasn’t really there.  He only slept about 3-4 hours a night and ran full force all day long.  With a baby that was still waking through the night and Aidan getting up usually by 2 am, I was a complete mess.  After being in Uruguay for about 18 months, the school notified us that they could no longer accommodate Aidan.  The decision was made that I would go ahead to our next assignment in Texas with the boys (almost 5 and 2) and my husband would finish up his job in Uruguay and join us in 5 months.

I made an appointment with an OT in El Paso, TX that turned out to only do neurofeedback.  With as much research as I had done over the last couple of hears, I had never heard of it. She explained what she did and I decided we would try it.  After the third visit, Aidan was making eye contact and talking in small sentences.  I have nicknamed her Aidan’s guardian angel.  It was by chance that I picked this OT out of our insurance directory. Two years later, he has made huge gains with sleep, social interactions, and speech.  We did ABA for the first year back in the states, but had to stop since our insurance would not cover it. We spent about $10-15K hoping we would get reimbursed since TX law requires insurance to cover autism services.  Denied, denied, denied.  We will never see a penny of that money again.

I researched chelation for almost two years.  Our DAN (defeat autism now) doctor wanted to do IV chelation, but that made me very nervous.  I finally decided on the Andy Cutler protocol of low/frequent doses and took the plunge.  No doctor in the area was familiar with this protocol, but I wanted these metals out of his body.  I knew all of these therapies and diet modifications were just a bandaid to the real problems.  We just completed round 7 and the results are nothing less than spectacular.  My husband still travels quite a bit and Aidan  has always refused to talk to him on the phone or skype.  While my husband was in London for the Olympics, Aidan had a full conversation on the phone.  “Hi Daddy.  Today we got a hair cut, then went to lunch, the mall, and then the park.”  Full conversation.  When I got back on the phone, he said, “Can’t you keep him in some kind of chelation tank?”  Amazing results in 7 weeks.

My husband’s job relocates us every two years… something that can be extremely difficult from normal children and downright horrific for kids that cannot handle change.  In five months, my husband is going to Iraq for a year and the boys and I are moving to Austin.  We could stay were we currently are, but I would rather have Aidan in the best school possible and Round Rock ISD has some of the best special ed classes in the nation.  I am so excited to be moving to a city that has farmer’s markets, Whole Foods, HEB plus… all wonderful grocery stores that have a variety of healthy foods and supplements for my children.  I am growing more and more concerned that the world’s largest pesticide company is growing and engineering our food.  Aidan’s high level of arsenic came from eating so much rice and chicken.  Now we only eat organic.  I cannot risk putting more poison into their little bodies. I have removed as many toxins from our lives as possible including flame retardant clothing, toxic toys, toiletries full of chemicals, and I have started making my own cleaning products.  I try to focus on how our grandparents lived and ate.  Not so many processed foods and all of these things created to make our lives easier are slowly killing us.

I was part of a discussion of wonderful lioness mothers this morning asking why God has allowed this to happen to our children.  God did not do this to my child.  Evil men in lab coats preying on our fears did this. Even in my darkest moment, I never questioned my faith.  I questioned myself and whether I am strong enough to do this.  I was chosen, for whatever reason, to be Aidan’s mommy and I will fight to the end of my days to protect him.  I am blessed to have him, but autism is not a blessing.  I have learned many lessons through this journey, but I will never accept autism as anything other than a horrible injustice for my son.  Most parents take for granted all of the little things their children do.  I am lucky to see miracles on a regular basis at each new accomplishment. His diagnosis forced to me to look at what we were consuming in our lives and make drastic changes.  It forced me to look closely at the medical community and come away frightened.  It forced me to re-evaluate my life and find true meaning.  I am honest and opinionated and not afraid to tell others what I have learned in hopes of preventing my friends and family from making my mistakes.  I want others to know never, ever give up.  There is always hope.  Autism is not a death sentence.  It is preventable.  It is treatable.  It is reversible.  I see my baby boy emerging more and more every single day”

Aidan in 2009. (No eye contact, fear/frustration on his face, and a pair of hands holding him to the chair)
Aidan 2009

Aidan in 2012. (engaged, happy, smiling, looking directly at the camera).

Aidan 2012

Autism currently affects 1 in 50 children.
Autism is treatable and reversible.
And most importantly, it’s preventable!

Thank-you Melissa for sharing your story!
Because of your courage, Aidan will be healthy and whole one day!

To learn more about the Lioness Arising Series and read about the other mothers changing the world, click (HERE)